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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes couples who choose against parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {